


I Like You

by TheIllusiveMantis



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 02:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIllusiveMantis/pseuds/TheIllusiveMantis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can barely hold the thought in his own head, so the reality is too difficult to handle even for a moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the cut voice clip and the extreme denial I feel Yosuke would have upon developing feelings for the protagonist (as was originally an option). Extremely quick thing I cobbled out without reviewing, hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

_I like you._

 

Simple words, socially expected. Revolutionary, for all that.

 

A guy and a girl, a tense encounter, maybe a rooftop. That was the image those words brought to mind.

 

_I like you._

 

Easy to say, to a mirror, when you have a sixth-grade crush and there's no room for confusion in your mind. Harder to say to a girl. Hard to be rejected. Hard to expect rejection in the first place.

 

_I like you._

 

How many times has a beautiful girl dropped her head and avoided Souji's eyes as she's said those exact words, Yosuke wonders? ...Probably too many times to count. At first he'd been jealous, a nagging little feeling he beat down and smothered because after all, Souji was his best friend and he should be proud about the amount of female attention he got. When it came down to it, Yosuke _must_ have gotten cooler just by proximity, right?

 

Then when Ai Ebihara takes Souji by the hand and leads him up to the rooftop, Yosuke realizes it's not _Souji's_ back he's glaring at, and his heart thuds against his ribcage and stops, and the whole world is in suspended animation.

 

_I like you._

 

The realization is covered up immediately by every rationalization he can throw at it. He's never had a friend like Souji before – someone he could call _partner_ with every bit of confidence the term allowed. Never thought he'd let anyone see him cry. Used to imagine himself comforting a pretty girl while her eyes brimmed over with tears, until they subsided in the warmth of his arms; never thought he'd feel the warmth radiating from within as he was held by someone else.

 

_I like you._

 

Practicing saying the words is absurd, even if it's all in his mind. He paces his room, he alternates flopping down on different pieces of furniture, restless, thinking maybe if he keeps himself in motion, there'll be no room in his brain for the idea. He switches channels before he even registers what's on. He even succeeds in annoying Teddie.

 

“What's got you all worked up, Yosuke?” Teddie asks, a bit of a stern pout on his face, but Yosuke just snaps “nothing, okay!” before apologizing and running down to grab them some topsicles out of the freezer because guilt about his shortness with Teddie is a feeling he's comfortable owning up to.

 

_I like you._

 

They pop into his head as he closes his eyes at night, and he sees Souji's face, a brief flash of surprise coming over his mild features before he smiles in an annoyingly all-too-cool way.

 

 _I know_ , he says.

 

 _I like you too_ , he says.

 

 _What was that? I don't think I heard you_ , he says, a teasing smirk on his face, and even though he's just a figment of his imagination Yosuke feels a need to smack him.

 

He aborts this line of thought all-too-belatedly, feeling betrayed by himself once again. Saki-senpai. He imagines her, and then suddenly it's weirder and even worse. He tries to smother himself with a pillow.

 

When had everything in his life stopped being so easy to categorize?

 

* * *

 

 

The next day of school elapses as normal. School is an elegant distraction. When they're all in a group, at lunch or before class, he understands the roles. Banter comes naturally. He doesn't think any unusual thoughts, and makes the same mistake that he does every day of thinking that they must be gone.

 

He's in the hallway after school when Souji catches up to him, and they easily make plans to hang out. Yosuke is glad. Souji's had a lot of time for strangers recently and not a lot of time for his best friends. So, it's really about time they'd caught up. The excitement he feels is natural.

 

When they've found themselves meandering down the riverbed again – Souji had said something like _no, not Junes_ – Yosuke opens his mouth to say something about Yukiko and one of her mysterious new admirers, and whether they should feel jealous, and perhaps to wonder whether someone would finally crack the Amagi Challenge, and maybe Don't tell me you haven't tried, huh dude?, but then,

 

“I like you,” Souji says.

 

The world unblurs as Yosuke turns his head, suddenly crystal sharp and in too many colors. Souji is looking him dead in the eye, his expression unreadable but his features relaxed.

 

“H-huh?” Yosuke sputters, because he's gone from feeling totally normal to downright certifiable in the space of about a second.

 

There's no mistaking it this time, as Yosuke watches him pronounce every syllable. “I like you,” Souji repeats, his voice soft.

 

“Uhh-hhh,” Yosuke stammers.

 

The murmuring of the river fills a bit of the ensuing silence, and he can't be sure how long it stretches on, really, a few moments, a few minutes? Words finally form on his tongue. “Dude, w-why're you-” Yosuke reaches for his forehead like he has a headache. “We're – we're both guys, have you forgotten that?”

 

Souji glances down to look at something, and Yosuke realizes what he's doing with a disbelieving jolt. He's being cheeky, just like he'd imagined, the bastard! “No,” Souji concludes, looking away from the decidedly male cut of his school uniform.

 

“You can't say stuff like that to me, okay?” Yosuke spits out, the words spilling forth before he has time to process them. “What would people think if they heard you? _Geez_ , dude-”

 

“That I like you, probably,” Souji acknowledges, his face still betraying no hint of whatever he might be feeling on the inside, or perhaps Yosuke's heart is hammering too painfully to let him notice. “But I suppose you don't feel the same way. I'm sorry to have made you uncomfortable.”

 

Souji turns away, apparently watching the river. He doesn't look sad or distraught. He's just been turned down by the person he supposedly likes... and he looks positively serene, part of the scenery here. Yosuke is trembling with what... anger? Horror? Perhaps he has to vomit. His stomach feels like it's floating with nothing to ground it.

 

“Yeah, well,” he finally manages, and though the words are level in his head, when his voice comes out it's trembling, noticeably, like puberty all over again. “I mean.... you don't have to be sorry for anything, partner. Just... you know...”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Souji's gaze, maybe, is intent upon something in the river. A fish? Could he be thinking about fishing, already fast-forwarding to his evening plans? How soon will this all be a distant memory to him? (Because it never occurs to Yosuke that Souji is in too much pain to look at him.) “Forget about it. Were you going to say something?”

 

This time the words – the ill-formed, coarse, stupid words – don't even come out. Yosuke just shakes his head firmly, also staring down into the river, seeing the outlines of the fish who had been eavesdropping on their whole conversation and were still swimming around nonchalantly as if everything were still normal and the world were still turning. The fish become blurs. Blinking doesn't do much to help. A motion of his arm would be too obvious.

 

 _Would it be weird to ask for another hug, partner?_  , he thinks, the absurdity of the thought making him feel sick again.

 


End file.
